preliminary

I am on the verge of writing about the gentleman I am somewhat involved with, and I feel the need to explain a few things first. It is possible that an old boyfriend could see this blog--frankly, I hope not--and get his feelings hurt. I did have a boyfriend who was kind to me, wanted to be a big part of my life, and told me constantly how wonderful I was. And it was nice, for a change. If he does see this, and the subsequent post about the other gentleman, he will wonder what the hell is wrong with me. He will conclude I exemplify every negative stereotype about women--i.e., we don't want the GOOD guys, the NICE ones. Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm an idiot. My only defense, if there is one, is that the heart wants what it wants.

A secondary defense, I guess, is that I've never been good at blending my life with another human being's. My kids still need me, and probably will for at least a few more years. I don't really feel comfortable inflicting other people on them. My old boyfriend wanted to share everything, including the members of our respective families. I wasn't ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready, with anyone. It didn't work out in my marriage--was probably even a contributing factor in that marriage's failure. My ex-husband didn't particularly suck, either. Or, as Lisa (my daughter) would say--"at least not for free."